July 28

We found out this afternoon that Natalie is too big for her car seat, and she has been ever since her last doctor's appointment the first week of June. We decided to check the manual because I have a feeling Natalie is around 20 pounds now and that is the weight limit on her infant seat. I don't know for sure if she does weigh that much (our scale here at home isn't really good), but at her last appointment her height was 26 1/2 inches, and the maximum height on the infant seat is 26 inches! And considering that was two months ago, I guess it is really time to move up to a convertible car seat. She's definitely grown since two months ago, she just recently went through another growth spurt and now doesn't even fit into some of her 6-9 month clothes.

Lastly today, I wanted to mention that last week Natalie actually rolled over completely on her own and even twice in a row finally! She still doesn't want to go from her back to her tummy, but the other day we were playing on a quilt on the floor together and I had her on her tummy. PB (our white cat) came up and laid down right by us, which caught Natalie's attention. She stretched her arm out and was trying to grab her (good thing PB doesn't mind) but was having trouble reaching, so she tilted her head backward toward the ground and stretched her opposite arm up, which caused her to roll over on her back! I thought maybe it was just a fluke so I put her back on her tummy, which she obviously didn't appreciate, because she rolled right back over again and reached up to touch PB. Thanks PB!

July 19, 2002- I don't usually write again so often, but we have a reason to this time! Yesterday Natalie got (or, at least, started getting) her first tooth! Phil was the one who noticed it, as he was playing with her yesterday evening. Once again Natalie goes against norms, too - the tooth is the upper right tooth. (Usually the bottom two come in first.) It's just a little white nubby at this point, but it's definitely there, you can see and feel it! I asked Phil if he thought we should call it her first tooth being in now, or wait until it was all the way in. He said yes, it counts now, because after all, the tooth doesn't make a 'ding' when it's done coming out, how would we know when it's finished?

Oh, I've also been wanting to mention that Natalie has gotten her first two freckles. Since she has skin like mine (sorry Natalie) I'm sure lots more are on their way. These two are on her legs, one on each side. The first one showed up on her upper right thigh, right where her doctor gives her shots, so for a long time I thought it might just be an injection mark. It's not. The other is just above her left knee. That one popped out just recently, I think on July 4th! (Yes, we put on sunscreen but once again, with skin like mine, the freckles are still bound to pop out.)

Speaking of July 4th, I realized I never wrote about how Natalie's first one went! On the day before, the three of us went to see Men in Black II at... the drive-in!! It was actually a lot of fun, and I didn't have to worry about Natalie making noise. I think we found our theater of choice for awhile! In the morning we went to the Gahanna parade and saw Aunt Sarah in the marching band. It was very hot. We had her in her stroller and we sat under a tree, but Natalie and my skin turned bright red with the heat (not the sun) nonetheless. We spent the afternoon at my grandma's (a cookout), and then at night, we went with Aunt Sarah and Aunt Nanny to the Gahanna fireworks. Because our cars got separated on the way there, we didn't meet up until right before it started, so we ended up plopping down our blankets on the side of the road still a ways from the golf course, but that ended up for the best because Natalie could see and hear the fireworks but they were far enough away that the sound didn't scare her. Plus we were able to get out and drive home very quickly, a big change from other years when it took us forever! When we got home, we were all sticky from sweat and sunscreen and bug repellent, so we all got baths. Natalie got in the big tub but she didn't like it too much. She'd been in there once before and did fine, so I think this time it had just been too much for her in one day! She fell asleep quickly and slept hard that night!

July 18, 2002 - Natalie is becoming so much fun these days. Her personality is really starting to come through. Lately she's started to show a sense of humor too. Last Saturday we were out to dinner with my family, and close to the end of dinner Natalie was obviously getting restless. We had to keep shuffling her between arms so that Phil and I could finish eating. Anyway, at one point she had my full attention and I couldn't eat at all, because she was grabbing my face in both of her hands and pulling it toward her, and then giving me little slobbery "kisses" on my cheek, and bursting into giggles. It was so cute. She's also starting to anticipate things she knows will be fun. When we play "pattycake", as soon as I get to the part right before I "mark it with a B", she looks upward and gets a big, wide grin on her face, and then starts to laugh as I make the "B" on her belly. She's been laughing in response to tickles and belly shakes for awhile, but it's neat to see her now anticipating when her favorite parts of songs will happen. She really likes certain words and rhymes, too. There's one little "song" I sing almost every night as I put her pajamas on her, and she starts to giggle when I say the word pajamas: "We're putting on pajamas, pajamas, pajamas, we're putting on pajamas, it's time to go to bed!" I sing it over and over again, and she just loves it. Those of you reading this who aren't yet parents, don't laugh too hard; you'll be amazed at the little songs you make up on the spot in order to get your baby to laugh or calm down! The one little ditty I'm most proud of, (after I made it up I told Phil it could almost be a grammy winner for made-up nonsense baby rhymes. He didn't think it was all THAT spectacular - okay, maybe not quite a grammy - but still agreed it was pretty good); the subject being one of our favorite outings: Going to the library. It goes like this: "We're going to the library, gonna get some books and movies, something to watch and something to read, going to the library." Yeah, so okay it's not earth shattering but I did make it up on the spot, lyrics AND the "music", and it even amused me and not just the baby. Yes, I am easily amused.

On the Natalie physical front this week, before yesterday we were dealing with a little bout of constipation again. Or maybe not constipation, she didn't seem to be uncomfortable this time, but she had gone over 5 days since her last poop. Before that, I thought I'd started to get a pattern out of her, because after she was constipated last time, she started going about every 48 hours exactly. Then, around the middle of last week, nothing, for several days, even after giving her oatmeal and lots of white grape juice. Yesterday she finally had a dirty diaper (pretty massive but not quite as much as the diaper following the last dry spell) and then she had another one today, so once again Natalie is going to keep me guessing so that I can't count on anything. One thing is for sure though, we are certainly going through the wipes box slower these days! Boy it sure is nice to be able to share my daughter's bowel movements with the world! I've gotten some, but not all, of the latest round of my blood test results back, and we still don't know anything. My LH and FSH levels are on the extreme low end of normal range, unfortunately "normal" is anywhere from about .3 to 33, and the one of the two I remember her telling me was .5, so it's still considered "normal". I think the other was 1.3 or something like that. There were some other things that she was checking, including prolactin levels, which she had to do some more checking into since I'm breastfeeding she didn't know right away, but that looks like it will fall in the wide normal range too. She sent all my bloodwork to a dermatologist and got an appointment set up for me...at the END of August! After Phil got the message from them, he called to see if I could get in any earlier, and I can't unless I call every morning between 9 and 10 to see if there are any cancellations. My hair continues to get worse. This morning I put the sides of my hair up in a clip like I have done a lot when it has been this length, and you could really tell how thin it has gotten. The results are frustrating though, because I know something is wrong, but what? I have my annual gyn appointment next week (can't believe it's here already, I remember making that appointment at my 6 week checkup and it seemed so far away) so I'm going to ask Dr. Teague what she thinks about it all. Maybe she has some other ideas.

July 10, 2002 - Yesterday Natalie was 5 months old! I just can't believe it. Time really is zooming by, and she's doing new things every single day. The one thing she still isn't doing, though, is rolling over all the way! She just doesn't want to do it. Yesterday when I had her on her belly, she got angry and turned herself a quarter turn, facing the other direction, but she still didn't try to roll over. I'm really thinking that she's just going to go straight to walking without trying to crawl; she practically stands up with just the smallest amount of support from us now, and the other day Phil was "walking" her across the floor by standing her up and moving forward with her. She seemed to take it really well! Let's see, things she likes at 5 months - itsy bitsy spider, this little piggy, pat-a-cake, and any other rhyme, real or mommy-or-daddy made up, that involves a tickle or shaking her tummy at the end of it. She likes drinking water out of a glass but doesn't do as well with a sippy cup. Still doesn't want a bottle, she's firmly decided that she enjoys mom. One of her favorite games is now "throw the toy on the ground and see how fast mommy or daddy can pick it up", and she likes to play with anything she can get her mouth onto, including food spoons. blocks and baby keys, but she prefers mom's fingers. She also is now desperately trying to eat the remote control or the telephone, but so far she's been prevented from munching on those. So far. You can tell she's really started to make her preferences and opinions known. Yesterday Phil took a toy away from her that I guess she was still playing with, because she fussed until he gave it back. And we love all her little expressions these days. It's just amazing how much she has changed in 5 months, for that matter, how much she changes just in the span of a week!

This morning I had more blood work taken to try to figure out what is going on with me. I went back to the doctor yesterday morning to talk about my blood results from last time, and she decided to check my hormone levels since everything they tested last time came back normal. It's very possible it's all related to that, considering I couldn't even have a cycle without drugs, couldn't get pregnant without drugs, my milk was so slow coming in, and I've had such really bad hot flashes and hair loss in the last several months. I felt like this time the doctor took me a little more seriously, because when she saw how much worse my hair had gotten in just one week, she agreed that there was definitely something going on. So we'll see what happens. Hopefully I should be getting the blood test results back by Monday, and then she's going to also forward my test results on to a dermatologist too, to deal with specifically my hair.

July 2, 2002 - Who would have thought that my life and emotions would so much revolve around counting spit ups and poopy diapers? Constipation is rare in breastfed babies but of course Natalie is an exceptional child in many respects. Up until yesterday around lunchtime, Natalie hadn't had a poopy diaper since last Wednesday afternoon, and she was getting uncomfortable and cranky and I was getting anxious. Every diaper change was met with hopeful expectation that I'd find a little surprise, but until lunch yesterday nothing had happened. I called her doctor yesterday morning and they told me I'd have to first of all switch to oatmeal instead of rice cereal (I guess rice is notorious for causing constipation even in just the tablespoon or two servings I'd been giving her) but then also, she told me to "stimulate her anus" with my finger. I wasn't relishing this activity. I asked her about giving her apple or prune juice but she told me that works only as a preventative, it wouldn't get rid of stoppage already there. Then when Phil came home for lunch and I was getting out of the shower, he let me know he thought she was finally doing something other than passing gas. When we took off her diaper, whoa nellie. Talk about a diaper load, and it was much thicker than most of her bowel movements, and much smellier. It took all four of our hands to get her cleaned up, but at least it had happened and even without my dexterous intervention. It had us pretty worried though, because Natalie suddenly went from two to three dirty diapers per day to suddenly none in several days. After yesterday's diaper, she hasn't had anymore poopies since, but we bought her some oatmeal cereal last night so we'll see what happens. Maybe she's just going to have less dirty diapers but it was such a sudden change. Last night, I don't know if this was related or not, but from middle afternoon on, if Natalie wasn't either nursing or drinking water out of a cup, she was absolutely screaming. By 10:00 at night I was really exhausted. It might have been part teething too, she seemed to even want to chew on the edge of the water glass. She finally fell asleep last night after I gave her some Infant Tylenol and let her nurse for awhile again. Phil went shopping last night and got her a sippy cup. She's gotten very good at using a normal cup or glass (she even likes to try to hold the whole cup herself while she takes a drink) but I'm so afraid of her knocking the hard cup against her gums, so we're going to try giving her the sippy cup. This may be the answer to her refusal to take a bottle, too. She might just go right from nursing to drinking from a cup. We'll see, the next time she goes over to my mom's so Phil and I can go out, if she is happy using the cup so at least it can tide her over long enough for us to go out for a little while. We're still trying to get her on a bottle every now and then though, but she doesn't want to take it.

Last week I went to my doctor and got some blood taken for a few tests. They tested for thyroid, anemia, and a few other things. I just got the test results back today (a letter came in the mail) and my doctor said everything looks normal, and that "maybe I should try taking prenatal vitamins." Yeah, I've been taking them for about a year and a half now, thanks. I'm going to call tomorrow and try to talk to her (if I can get through, I called and left a message for them to call me today and they never called me back. I just love that office) because there is obviously something wrong. It just seems my hair is getting worse. Today when I went to get in the shower, I saw the hair in the drain from yesterday's shower and it was worse than ever. When I got out of the shower, I looked at my head from the side view, and it's getting even thinner. I can see my entire scalp now not just on the bald spot at the top of my head or down my part, but the part area looks to be getting bigger, going down my head farther. Hopefully I'll find out what's going on with me soon and this will start to get better. When I tried to pull my hair back into a pony tail this morning, the hair I pulled back was about the same amount of hair I used to pull into one of two side pony tails, it's that thin. Yuck.

Last night when Natalie was so fussy, at one point I was just holding her really tight and trying to comfort her, and I had my hand right over her heart and felt it beating. I suddenly thought about the first time I saw the little bean, when I was 9 weeks pregnant and I saw her heart beating for the first time. This morning I looked at my old ultrasound pictures of Natalie, from 9 weeks and from 20 weeks (I think it was) and it just amazed me that those pictures were Natalie. My little sweet pea, when she really was just a little bean. I remember seeing her heart beating away so fast, and I couldn't wait to hear it. Then I heard it, but now I can feel it too. I just love her so much. Sometimes when she is crying and wanting to be held and nursed constantly like last night, I get frustrated and think, Natalie, won't you just please give me a few minutes? But then I think about how fast she is already growing, already so much different than she was as a newborn, and I just want to cherish every single minute. She won't be completely happy just snuggled in my arms for much longer. I'm already finding myself thinking, with the next baby I'm really going to try to enjoy the first few weeks more and not want her to get to the next milestone. Before I know it, this whole first year is going to be over. Natalie is already looking more like a little kid these days. An incredibly cute little kid. As much as I cheer every new thing she does, and I'm really looking forward to when we can take her places like the zoo and Disney World and such, I'm really enjoying her now too. Her personality has really started to come out and I just love it.